Sunday, July 8, 2007

Would you rather...?

My sister is currently very busy painting the exterior of her house. I feel close to requiring hospitalization just thinking about that. You see, I really dislike painting. No, you don't understand. I really, really dislike painting.

Let me make this clearer. Of all housewifely tasks, ironing is my least favourite. I LOATHE ironing. And as all you who know me are well aware, I also absolutely cannot tolerate hot weather. When it gets above 25 degrees, I am uncomfortable and cranky. When it gets above 30, I am like an animal in a trap being tortured. I am beside myself.

If I were given the choice of ironing for eight hours in 30-degree weather and painting for the same amount of time on a nice, cool day, I would take the ironing.

Yes. THAT is how much I hate painting.

Now, if the choice were the eight hours of 30-degree ironing and FOUR hours of cool-day painting, I would take the painting. I mean, let's not be silly. We're not in the realm of hyperbole here. But five hours of painting…? I'd have to consider that one carefully.

It's sort of like the sleepover game "Would you rather". You know the one: a sort of verbal Fear Factor where everyone must choose between two equally awful options. I'm very poor at this game because I always need more detail.

Would you rather eat a rat or a booger out of someone else's nose?

Well, is the rat cooked or raw? This makes a big difference to me. I would eat the rat if it were cooked, but the booger if the rat were raw. And if the rat's alive, well, obviously I would eat someone's entire booger-filled head before I'd start gnawing on a live rat. Duh.

Would you rather have sex with George Bush or Larry King?

Now, again, I have questions. Am I allowed to wear a blindfold? Is the man allowed to speak in any way? Will there be paparazzi? Medical personnel on hand? I simply cannot make a decision without knowing such things.

So you could play the "Would you rather" game with me with painting on one side of the equation and almost anything on the other, and I'd choose the other. This is what I'm saying.

You go, Missy Moo*!

*The painting sister

1 comment:

Kate said...

I think I'd rather have Georgie do the ironing and Larry paint.